Uffish Thought

The first time Eddie sees Steve Harrington with his face smashed in, he’s at the corner store off 6th Street choosing a frozen meal to bring home.

The thing was, these popular types, the Royalty of High School Society? They just wanted to be entertained. They wanted something to break though the dull monotony of life at the top of the food chain, and if nothing happened to catch their interest, they made their own fun.

Good thing Eddie was unparalleled at keeping little sheeps entertained.

"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be." Stories with, about, or for Stephanie Harrington, basketball star + babysitter.

Who doesn't know Shakespeare's most famous romance, Eugenides & Irene? Shakespeare pulled his story from the real Eugenides the Great and Attolia Irene, a king and queen who reigned over what is now modern-day Ephestalia. Shakespeare’s fictionalization told a grand—if deeply fraught—love story, but the real life Eugenides and Irene’s love story is hotly debated by academics and the chronically online alike.

Nowhere is this clearer than the talk page of the “Attolia (country)” Wikipedia article, where debates about whether Eugenides and Irene were ever truly in love have raged on since the site’s inception. We dug into why this long-dead couple inspired such controversial historical takes and found ourselves neck deep in academic fist fights, fanfiction, and the weirdest plot twist about my own past.

A message, a fight, a question, an answer; or, a year after the war, Costis navigates court politics and the secrets that aren't.

After delivering his report to Eugenides, Costis goes home to visit his family. He wrestles with the new person he has become since he saw them last, the secrets he should reveal and the ones he can't, and his uncertain relationship with Kamet, who probably hates him. And looming over all of it is the king's mysterious suggestion about a ship he may or may not be taking to Roa.

"The king lifted a hand to her cheek and kissed her. It was not a kiss between strangers, not even a kiss between a bride and a groom. It was a kiss between a man and his wife, and when it was over, the king closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the hollow of the queen’s shoulder, like a man seeking respite, like a man reaching home at the end of the day."

Jullanar didn’t realize anything was wrong until the newspaper boy yelped in panic, until she was turning back to see the paper Fitzroy was holding on fire, a conflagration held in one hand, his eyes liquid gold with magic and his voice perfectly empty when he said, “No. That can’t be right. There’s been a mistake.”

In which an adventure in progress is thoroughly derailed by news of the presumed death of the Viceroy of Zunidh.

Jemis is invited to attend the investiture of the Viceroy of Zunidh, which promises to be a delightful trip with Almost No Adventures along the way.

Von Stalhein is forced to accept his orders.

Tobirama is willing to give absolutely anything for Hashirama and his dream.

Tobirama is elbow deep in a stealth mission in Wind Country when he runs into a shinobi squad toting a stolen Uchiha child. Tobirama disapproves.

After a serious and devastating attack, the Uchiha are in desperate need of a sealmaster. Unfortunately for them, the best candidate happens to be from the Senju clan. Fortunately for them, he doesn't seem all that inclined to act like an enemy.

Which is lucky because, as it turns out, there are plenty of other adversaries making moves in Fire Country - both the clans will need to make new friends to survive.

Madara would have been content if his new husband tolerated him and helped his clan stay safe. He doesn't quite know what to do with the fact that his husband doesn't stop there.

The war is over. Tobirama ended it when he put his sword through Izuna's center mass. But where war had united the Senju behind their leader, peace threatened to tear them apart. And who better for the warmongers to look to as a leader than the greatest killer of Uchiha they had ever seen?

There were only two problems with that plan. One, Tobirama would never, ever, betray his elder brother.

Two, he may or may not have a surprisingly not dead Uchiha Izuna in a coma in his guest room, hiding the secret of resurrection that Tobirama needs with everything he is.

Now if only he would wake.

Asuma looks from Anko, who is laser-focused in a way rarely seen outside missions, and Iruka’s bewildered face.

“Holy shit,” he says. “You’ve seen Kakashi’s face.”

Hatake Kakashi and Umino Iruka have been part of each other's lives for a long time. A lot longer than Iruka realizes, anyway. Kakashi recognizes this is something of a problem, but only once it's too late to do anything about it.

OR How To Make Your Secret Identity Friend Your Real-Life Boyfriend: A Shinobi's Guide To How Not To Romance

Zhao Yunlan is having a really terrible week, and it just gets worse when he starts to think Shen Wei has gotten tired of his bullshit.

Zhao Yunlan finds out a lot earlier that the Envoy isn't as invulnerable as he seems.

Iris is guest-teaching a PUMNT course, so it makes sense for Murderbot to go as her security. Yes, ART is doing most of the job, and yes, they are making Murderbot take a class, but it's still only there for work. It thinks? What do you mean it has to do a group project.

"Really, the longer I stayed here, the more it seemed like this was all a ploy to force me into an education module."

Categories: Manhunts | US Marshal's Office | Overturned convictions in the United States | Withdrawn drugs | Gay & lesbian figures in the 1990s

"Are you going for the course?" Lovegood asked. "You have the NEWTs.”

“What course?” Draco said, then, “No, don’t be ridiculous,” when he realized she meant the notice pinned up on the board he’d been staring at: Applicants To The Introductory Mediwizard Course For The Coming Term Shall Present Themselves In The Chief Mediwizard’s Office By August 24th.

“Oh, I thought you might,” she said. “Well, goodbye.” And off she wandered again in her addled way.

“I’m not a reverse werewolf either,” says the man. “I’m your godfather.”

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

“What do you want me to do?” Remus says, tiredly. All he wants is to curl up on his bed. Smoke a pack of cigarettes. Get drunk. He can’t stop looking at Harry.

“Remus…” Dumbledore is gentle. Remus hates when he has that tone. Hates that he knows it will hurt. “There is no one else left.”

A bitter laugh escapes him. “So you’ll curse the poor thing with a werewolf for a guardian?”

Imagine a universe in which Remus never went to Hogwarts. The Marauders never became Animagi, and so Peter had nowhere to run when Sirius cornered him after the Potters' deaths. Peter was the one who ended up in Azkaban, whilst Sirius was granted custody of Harry. Fast-forward six years or so, to a sunny day in April 1988….

The ghost would prefer to go by Buck, if Eddie wouldn’t mind.

Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do.

Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year.

(Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)

“Do you remember that shift where Buck was off and Hen was on mandatory relaxation, and they both got drunk in Hen’s kitchen in the middle of the afternoon while we had to resuscitate a canine?”

Eddie nods vigorously. “Oh, Hoover. I remember Hoover.”

“Why have we never been drunk during a dog resuscitation, Eddie? Have you thought about that?”

“Well now I am.”

“We should call them and let them know that we can have fun on Dads’ Night Out.” Nothing could go wrong.

OR: Eddie and Chim embark on a “Dad’s night out” to watch baseball at a sports bar, and after a few too many, Eddie accidentally lets his feelings for Buck slip.

There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival.
—Thornton Wilder

The Lans were one of the founding families of the Vancouver Guild; part of their legacy is to maintain their place in it for the benefit of all. Cultivation is important, essential, serious.

In the distance, something squeaks.

A disaster, is Lan Zhan’s first impression as the bike squeals to a halt on the far side of Song Lan’s car. The man riding it – and he’s tall, and lanky, and sure-footed – hops off and locks it to the car’s back door. The back door of a police vehicle. He pulls his helmet off to reveal long, sweat-soaked hair with a shaggy undercut, bright grey eyes, and a smile that launches like an arrow straight through Lan Zhan’s chest.

No, he thinks, watching this trainwreck of a man shimmy between the narrow space dividing Song Lan’s back bumper and the next car’s hood like he’s doing some kind of dance step. Absolutely not.

There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject.

Roy and Jason are pining from afar. Romantic strategery isn't Dick's forte. As per normal, it's a good thing the women are around.

Biggles and von Stalhein are taken prisoner together. Worse: they're handcuffed together.

Never let it be said that Bertie Wooster will abandon a pal in need, even if that pal is a woman who is temporarily in possession of his body and he doesn’t fully understand what’s going on.

“Rough day, eh?” Phillip asked.

“Confounding. Absolutely confounding,” was how the man chose to answer. “The crux of the matter seems most certainly to be banquet, and yet not a hint of malice was cooked into any of the dishes. No poison in the duck, nothing slipped in the wine. For the life of me, I can’t parse it out.”

Phillip stared at him for a moment, before throwing out another handful of rice to the ducks. “I’m sorry, what?”

While cleaning the practice rooms at the end of the day, Ahiru comes upon Rue preparing her pointe shoes for the week to come.

During the ragged flight from Istanbul, Granby and an injured Tharkay reach an understanding.

(01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin-

(01:25) Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood-

(01:25) Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious.

(01:25) Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route-

(01:25) Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up.

(01:25) Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.

Five times Jason baked something for or with his siblings, and one time they baked for him. A drabble sequence of triple drabbles written for the Seasons of Drabbles Summer 2023 challenge emuxchange.

"Someday, Ratthi hopes, he’s going to run out of things to learn about Secunit that break his heart."

Making a documentary in five hours flat is an experience in and of itself, but making a documentary with some of your friend's worst memories as footage is something else altogether.

After a failed suicide attempt, years of bullying, and his mother's death, Izuku Midoriya doesn't think he has any option besides joining the League of Villains. After all, foster care is no place for a quirkless kid like him. Plus, working as a hacker and analyst for the League doesn't sound like it would be too bad. But, after meeting a hurt little girl in Overhaul's headquarters, Toga and Izuku can't just sit back and take orders from Shigaraki anymore. With some careful consideration, Izuku figures a villain reformation program at UA doesn't sound horrible, even if it means having to put up with Bakugou.

Pain raced up his arm. It was a sharp throb that radiated out. More than a broken bone. When Alec went to flex his hand to see how bad it was he couldn’t. His eyes snapped to his own hand and there was no hand.

A mission gone wrong leads to Alec being turned into a cat. Alone. Hurt. No one aware of what's happened to him.

If only there was a cat-loving warlock nearby to save him.

He smiles a little, an uptick of his mouth, plush lips exposed where he's shaved the mangy beard off in the process of cleaning off the wasteland. "Here," Max says, and nudges into her space, arranges the plant carefully so the roots are properly covered, the leaves brushed free of dirt.

Furiosa doesn't realize she's going to move until she does, leaning across the slight distance between them and pressing her lips to his.

His Radiancy devises a way to fix an anomaly in time. No priest-wizards were severely harmed in the making of this fic.

Unexpected side effect of Jaskier praising witchers far and wide: children making the logical jump that witchers can handle ALL monsters. Including such subspecies as the under-the-bed variety.
And, well, what are you supposed to say to a child who asks you to fight a monster for them?

"You know what I think," Jordan said. "I think you’re one of those people who think they can’t be pranked. That’s what I think.”
“Jordan. There is no conceivable universe in which you could ever successfully prank me – not in your wildest, most attention-deficit-disordered imaginings is that a thing that could possibly occur.”
Jordan gave a quiet laugh. “You wanna bet?”

Hal is adamant that he's not going to spend Bruce's money. Bruce intends to change his mind about that. (A sort-of 5+1 fic)

Megwin is two-thirds done with roll call when she stumbles over a familiar name. Harry Potter. Strange coincidence. There’s a student in her muggle primary classroom with the same name as The-Boy-Who-Lived?
A canon-divergent AU in which Somebody Helps Harry Potter.

Zixuan would like to be closer with his half-brother. He would like to skip all the awkward fumbly beginning bit where they don't know each other and just magically arrive at fraternal harmony, where they can joke around like the Jiangs and look out for each other like the Nies and have that spooky synchronicity like the Lans, but the truth is that he's never had a sibling, and he has no script or example for what you're meant to do when you discover one as an adult. They don't have years of in-jokes and growing pains to fall back on, they're basically just strangers who happen to share a parent.
the sickfic fixit in which JGY discovers the Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known and Zixuan discovers the Mortifying Ordeal of Getting To Know Other People

With Jason tentatively back in the Batfamily, things are going pretty well for him--except for the whole thing with Tim. But who gives a shit about Tim Drake?

But when Jason and Tim are pulled into a frightening race for their lives inside a labyrinth that's out to kill them, they may have to look past their differences just to stay alive. Maybe along the way, they'll discover they aren't as different as they thought, and family comes in many different forms.

Lan Zhan finds A-Yuan lost in the railway station. He maybe finds more than he bargained for. Some mornings you leave for the office and come back with a son (and possibly a husband too).

In many ways it seems that John's life revolves around William Laurence.

He couldn’t help his unintelligence, any more than she could help her father. And he was kind. She should try to remember that.

(Or: Csethiro Ceredin goes into her betrothal to Emperor Edrehasivar VII with assumptions, and has every one of them challenged.)